Being a Gym Rat in Paris

Another New Year, another resolution to get in shape... especially as one of my State-Side best friends (of the notorious Fab 5 as we are self-entitled) is getting married in August and I am to be the Maid of Honor. An honor, of course, but also the need to be in tip-top permanent photo shape by this summer.

Thus the dilemma of keeping in shape in France begins, as it has before. I once wrote a post about keeping in shape, but lately I've been getting creative and trying the variety of "keep in shape" options that Paris has to offer.

In Paris, every morning or evening, or even during the broad daylight, Parisiens are running about in their gym clothes and keeping in shape the old fashioned way. From "footing" to collective courses, here are the options in Paris:


Footing or Jogging
COST: Free
The French term for jogging or running, basically suit up, strap into some running shoes and off you go. I tend to keep myself to a nice Sunday walk, around 1 hour Sunday evening. Best locationgs to go footing:

• The Eiffel Tower (pretty much a large around the Champs de Mars)
• Bois de Boulogne (also known for the hookers sprawled somewhere in the woods, although which is better- running on dog crap or running across an Eastern hooker? Almost sounds like the beginning to a bad joke...)
• On the waterfronts (although I avoid, due to strolling couples and again, dog crap)
• Jardin du Luxembourg (about 25 hectares, lots of space.. and of course Gendarme eye candy)
• Parc Monceau
• Parc du Montsouris

Just be aware of pick pockets, dog crap on every surface (eyes down) random cracks in the pavement that send you flying head first towards the ground.

Footing or Jogging
COST: Yearly pass for the Velib' - 30€ a year

Once again, the great system of the bike share program, grab a bike from any of the locations in Paris: Station Map also available in the form of an iPhone application, and zip off to the next spot. The best is zipping around the tourists in Paris near the Eiffel Tower and freaking them out!  Just be weary of traffic rules and the fact that Parisian drivers are absolutely bat-crazy.

Krav Maga

COST: 300-450€ for a 9 month unlimited pass

I was once invited to try this type of very aggressive martial arts at the American Church in Paris. For those who hear the words and assume it is an Israelian meal, it is actually a form of Israelian street fighting used by their military for self defense. It sort of reminded me of an intensive kick boxing class, with actual moves one can use in cases of rape, etc. Not alot of high cardio, but definitely great for strength training. I felt it in my arms at least 2 days later.

Each course lasts about 1h30, intensive kicking and punching in the air. Fabulous if the thought of going out scares the crap out of you, and you feel like you want to get some self defense lessons, albeit expensive. Here are some links for more info, times, etc:

• Krav Maga Paris
• Krav Maga Self Defense 11ème-19ème

La Gym Suedoise

COST: 10€ per class, or a seasonal 3 month pass of 300€

I giggled at my co-worker the first time she mentioned the Swedish Gym, she was trying to pressure me to join her for one hour of 80's style aerobics, complete with tight gym clothes in flourescent colors. Of course, one cannot judge unless they've experienced, so I bopped along to the beat with everyone else.

This actually ended up being the closest to my 24 Hour Fitness days in Portland, the intensive ab-crunches, the supportive instructor... however the music was a bit lacking. Better for once a week lessons, just to get yourself moving in an active way.

Convenient as they have many courses across all the different arrondissements in Paris, downside is many classes in the evening are completely blindé and full of post-work crowd.

The website: Gym Suedoise in Paris

An Actual Gym Membership

COST: Between 40€ a month to 1000€ a year

The most ideal for myself, however one must adjust to their living situation. Gyms in Paris are not and will never be the gyms we have Stateside. First off, due to the high costs of rent and lack of space, they tend to be miniscule with machines uncomfortably crunched together. It sort of is like the high school gym all over again, that odd musky smell, lack of air conditioning, disgusting toilets and showers... often used as a glorification to go and sit in a steam room for an hour.

If there are weights at the gym, they are usually occupied by the most bro-ish looking men you'll ever run across, and they won't hesitate to talk to you if you are a lady lifting.

A simple Google search for: Gym Paris or Gymnase Paris will bring up the hundreds of over-priced options.

Zumba

COST: 13€ for a 1 hour course, 18€ for a 2 hour or a book of 10 courses for 115€/160€, unlimited option also available for 100€ for a month.

I discovered Zumba thanks to a friend of mine last summer, if you've done Zumba then you know the difficulty in describing what it is.  It is sort of like Tangoing by yourself in a room full of screaming and clapping ladies, with a sweaty instructor shaking their ass like there is no tomorrow. You think you will end up laughing, but you are trying to hard to concentrate on the movements you end up sweating like a pig, one hour flies and you burned 500 calories in a snap.

However, downside, of course, is that often the courses in Paris are held in clubs, like actual dance clubs. Hence, that awkward vomit and alcohol smell sort of mingled with the musky sweat of non-showering French people (steretype alert) tends to leave you feeling a bit ill. Also, once again, no air conditioning in Paris.

However, courses are held all over Paris, and the unlimited pass allows you to go to any of them:

Zumba in Paris

Join a Sport

COST: Varies between 5€ - 20€ per sport per time-slot, note that it is managed by the state so a working level of French is required

I have yet to join a community club to try out what they offer, the city of Paris has so many things to offer, for young people looking for work, people living in the city and wanting to get out, families, etc.

It's worth a gander: Practicing a Sport in Paris

Over-All

The issue isn't that options aren't there, but it's simply the fact that it is much more difficult to discover these options in Paris as they tend to be hidden and a bit expensive. In America, the fact is our gym system is much better developed... however I have to mention that I eat about the same and don't go to 24 Fitness like I used to and I've managed to keep my weight the same. The car driving is exchanged for a daily 25-40 minute walk, sometimes run (busses or metros) in high heels and avoiding obstacles.

Utilizing a calorie-counting system is also wuite helpful, such as: My Fitness Pal

Bon Activité!

How to Sound French: The Film References

When I first moved to France, I was thrown blindly into a completely different pop culture.  I came from the culture where we quoted Jay & Silent bob (Not one French person I know gets it), Dude Where's My Car, references to flutes an inappropriate things along those lines.  Quotables are the basis of a good pop culture, and France, in her own glory, has her own quotes from films.

Mastering the quotes and watching the movies will assure that you will understand what someone means when, for example, you say something... you are contradicted, and then everyone in the room waves their right hand maniacally and shouts, "Cassséeeeeeee!!!!".

Here we go....

Bienvenue Chez les Ch'tis - Dany Boon
A film that simply details a French from the south who is forced by his job at the Post Office to relocate to the North of France, specifically, in the region of Nord-pas-de-Calais, considered to be our version of the "Backwoods" in France.

From the disgusting habit of eating a stinky cheese smothered on bread for breakfast, to the incomprehensible French dialect... the
main character Philippe Abrams (Kad Merad) eventually settles into the city and makes friends with Antoine Balleuil (Dany Boon).

Quoteables
-"C’est pas compliqué de parler le ch’timi. On ne dit pas : « pardonnez-moi je n’ai pas bien saisi le sens de votre question », on dit : « Hein ? »."
-"C'est le Nord!"

Dîner de Cons - Francis Veber


En gros a film about a high-rolling French man who gets his kicks with his buddies by inviting the stupidest person he meets to a weekly dinner.  Whoever brings the most idiotic guest wins... until one day an idiot comes that is not so much as idiot as he thinks... 


Some really quite funny scenes (better in original French with subtitles if French isn't your strong point), some involving adding vinegar to wine in order to trick a tax inspector, an obsession with match stick creations...


Quoteables
-"Il a une belle tête du vainqueur" - Reference used when they go hunting for the "idiots".


"-Il s'appelle Juste Leblanc.
-Ah bon, il n'a pas de prénom?
-Je viens de vous le dire Juste Leblanc... Votre prénom c'est François, c'est juste? Eh bien lui c'est pareil, c'est Juste."

Les Visiteurs - Jean-Marie Poiré


Typical time travel, misplaced group of knights put in the 20th century.  A re-make was done by Americans, Just Visiting, which follows about the same plot-line.


Quoteables
-"Je suis Godefroy Amaury De Malfète, comte de Montmirail, d’Apromont et de Papimcourt, fils d’Aldebert de Malfète et de Thibaude de Montfaucon... Je suis ton aieul."


-Et on lui pèlera le jonc comme au bailli du Limousin !
Qu’on a fendu un beau matin.
Qu’on a pendu ! Avec ses tripes !"

Brice de Nice - James Huth
Jean du Jardin has become a household name since the Oscar's glorification of The Artist, but before Du Jardin was a grand actor, he as a comedian.  From Un Gars et Une Fille to the movie Brice de Nice, he was never really that serious.


Brice de Nice, is just that, a 30 year old surfer from Nice named Brice who is constantly hunting the perfect "wave".  However, he doesn't really KNOW how to surf since he lives in Nice where the waves are totally calm.  Travelling around and finally ending up in a competition for surfing, there are endless, and really strange, references and jokes.


Casser
While there is not a specific quoteable, the most important concept is to understand "Cassée", literally, "broken".  Brice de Nice constantly is able to basically pull out French versions of yo mama jokes, and when he wins, he swings his right arm from shoulder to crotch, in a cutting fashion, proving that you, indeed, have been "broken".


French people tend to do this everywhere, if you are proved wrong, "T'es cassé", if you are saying really stupid things, "cassé", Political pundants having a debate and one says something totally off-handed, "CASSE".


Voilà, that's the start to French culture.. of course there are more to come.  American movies still are popular, but often under French names (ie: le sixième sens, le Projet Blair Witch, SOS Phantpmes (ghostbusters), etc)


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Just Another American in Paris

It's been exactly 1 year, five months, six hours, thirty-two minutes and two seconds since I stepped off the train in June of 2010 to start my new life in Lyon.

Now it will be 1 month and 2 weeks until I hop on a different train and start a new life in Paris.  I never thought I would leave Lyon, nonetheless live in Paris, but when opportunity knocks on your door you answer.

About 4 weeks ago or so, Bri decided to throw in his bid to become the assistant to a senator in Paris.  We knew it was a long shot, the chances that he would get it is slim (no experience as an assistant, a young male, in a second Masters, working at the law library).  The interview was last week, I know because it was me rolling out of bed at 6am to make him some coffee to be able to trudge to the train and get to the senate.

I also know it was a week because it was a week of Bri saying, "I'm not gonna get it, I'm no good, I'll never be in the senate, it's the end.".  The complaints only got stronger on Tuesday when he was supposed to have a call, and nada, Wednesday, same.  But, today, one week and 3 days from the interview, Bri received a phone call from the Senator herself offering the position.

I'm very focused on time now more than ever, every minute that passes is going to be a minute that leads to the end of my stay in Lyon.  I know most would drool for the chance to live in Paris, but I have grown to love Lyon as a second home and I can only feel more waves of culture shock as we prepare to head 5 hours north into the most popular tourist spot in the world.

It's been ten minutes I've been writing, and I can only ask myself banal questions:
How the hell are we going to get my brand new closet and oven to Paris?
Where are we going to live?
How long will it take to find an apartment?
Where will I find a new butcher who knows my order and my name?


I feel like Julia Child when Paul was moved around Europe, thinking to myself well there are still trains! 


I'm just going to be another American in Paris.

Oh well at least it will make good blogging fodder, what's more interesting than hauling a 65m2 apartment into a closet in Paris?

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Culture Shock: Things I Miss... Top 11

It's been more than one year since I've lived in France, recalling that I came with weak conversation skills and an open mind, one can't help getting homesick.  I thought recently, what is it that I truly miss? You know everyone has their weaknesses, the French I've met over the years displaced in Portland talk non stop about great baguettes or cheese.

For me I decided to compile a list, mostly to remember what's back at home and also a sort of 'To Do' checklist of things I want to do next summer if I can get back.

Starts with the Top Ten (Plus One).

1. My Family. I received news over the weekend that my Grandfather is dying of cancer.  I had to call him from my ligne fixe and say goodbye over the phone.. it made me truly miss my family, my dad, my mom... my sister and my brother.  There is never a day that doesn't go by that it's difficult to not pick up the phone and say, Hey let's meet for lunch!
2. My girlfriends. I had a close group of 4 girls that I'd been friends with since high school, one of which is a friend of about 10 years.  I am missing all their drama, drunken nights, our adventures around Portland.
3. Portland. My city, my hometown.  While Lyon is charming in it's classy city life, Portland was so clean and fresh... a city of artists and nature lovers.  I worry I will go back and everything will have changed, hopefully for the positive.
4. Taco Bell. Judge me if you must, but there is something familiar in those greasy tacos I'd buy at 3am in the morning with my girlfriends...
5. Good Indian food. Sorry but Lyon has not impressed me in her Indian food, everything cultural in regards to foreign foods is completely "Frenchized', bread added to the menu, fois gras tossed into the sushi, bagels smeared with roquefort (YUCK).
6. Good Sushi. Again, there's is something seriously wrong when my sushi has Fois Gras in it.  Mayonnaise? Good lord.  I just want a freakin' maki that's not 4€ a plate of 6 sushis.  I miss that cheap sushi that I could buy that was great quality.
7. Real Happy Hour.  Oh man, can't even say how much I miss a Portland brew and a plate of greasy corn dogs and fries for only 5€.  I has just discovered happy hour for a year before I left to live in France, and in France... you know what Happy Hour is?  Discounts on drinks, but no food.
8. Food Carts.  Yes, we got pizza carts and kebab carts, but no, not that awesome phenomenon from Portland... where at any hour in the night or day there's a cart set up with your heart's content of food.  Vegan tacos? Yes.  Greasy putine? Yes.
9. Food Network. Enough said.
10. Take Out Bags.  Man I miss going to a restaurant and having too much, then having leftovers for breakfast.  I'd be laughed out of a restaurant if I ever asked for a 'doggy bag'.
11. American People. Yes, I know, we are nationalistic, we are fake and sometimes way too much but I miss that sometimes.. that whole comfortable way of talking to eachother. I miss not having to decide when to say vous and when it's appropriate to not? C'est compliqué. Man I miss being able to be myself in my language.

Can you tell I was hungry when I wrote this?  Are there things you miss?

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Time in Lyon

There exists a strange phenomenon in the Lyon side of France in regards to time.  A meeting that is supposed to start at 2pm starts around 2:30pm and that meeting that should be one hour goes for about two hours.

The strange occurence spreads into the restaurants or meal times between the family.  That meal that usually lasts about one hour in the states grows, easily, into a 3 hour drinking and eating frenzy in which, at the end, you forget your name, you feel like you are about to explode or you do something stupid and drink that digestif that carries out for a whole nother hour.

The idea of being en retard is just simply a way of life, usually when I plan to meet someone and I say a time, I imagine myself adding 15 minutes to my *always on time* self in order to arrive at the same time.  Living with a true Lyonnais I am more than aware that it is more than an anomaly, it's simply a way of being.

The most annoying to my American ideals is when it comes time to choose a restaurant to eat at.  We wander around the street, talking, saying "Maybe here?  Here?".  By the time we do eat I am starving, my stomach hurts, my legs hurt and I chug down my aperitif to try and get some sustenance in my system.

So, in Lyon, always prepare for the time.

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Advice: Gym Solutions

In the States, I am a gym rat, 4-5 times a week I would pound the cardio machines and stress out my muscles with the weights.  About 2 months before I left, my neighborhood gym expanded and turned into a 'Super Fitness Center' for no extra cost to me.  This new gym had a multitude of cardio machines with iPod plug ins and televisions for each person.  All the weight machines were brand new, nothing smelt old and musty and the best part:  steam and dry sauna.  My mom, dad and I would spend at least 2 hours there in the evening... and it felt great.
Zoom 4 months later, July of 2010, and I am in France trying to find a gym in the area.  As I start calling around and getting rates I realize it wouldn't be possible to ever have the gym I had at home.  How much is shocking?  Try 60€ a month... compared to the measly 20$ I paid in the states I knew there was no way.


Now I recently began wondering... why are the prices in the States so cheap for gyms, but so expensive for groceries?  How is it I can go for 20 bucks a month but in France it is upwards of 60€?  What can I do to make up for this?


So I realized I would have to figure out an alternative... and here goes how I keep fit without losing money:


Kinect Fitness

Bri and I received a Kinect for our Xbox360 for Christmas; it's basically like a camera operated game system that detects your moves.  There are two games that I use for fitness:  Kinect Fitness and Dance Central.  The fitness I utilize for yoga, kick boxing and cardio exercises; it is great because it detects your weight/height and helps to provide goals... I burn an average of 200 doing their exercises and I am INCREDIBLY SORE after... meaning it worked.  Dance Central is more for my entertainement workout; the camera detects my moves according to a song... not only am I sweating at the end but I am also learning a new dance.

Home Workout Videos
If you don't own an Xbox nor a Kinect, the next best thing is home videos.  You can find them online or have them sent through a care package from home- I do yoga videos or belly dancing... they are great because you can put them on pause to understand a move... and if you want you can do it in your underwear- can't get that in a gym!  There are also many YouTube channels that are free with these types of exercises.

Inside Home Workouts:
Sometimes we don't need a gym at all to work out... a simple search on Google and here's what I found:  http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/at-home-workouts-0  Basically a listing of some workouts one can do at home... it still works out the body... but without the cost.

Outside Activities: Velo'v
I am personally not a fan of running, I have knee problems due to a fall in September so running is a little to shocking on my knees- however I do love the Velo'v.  I can hop on a bike and go about 5-7 miles a day and it feels like I am zipping along; it still works out your heart and gets your butt/legs in shape.

Avoid the Metro
When running errands try not to utilize the metro... especially if you have some time.  The walking helps to keep the heart rate up... and the faster you walk the better.

Cours de Fitness Collectif
Sometimes you can find special deals on collective fitness classes, like from this:  http://www.cours-fitness-lyon.com/activites.php  They offer September to June prices for only a few hundred euro... much more inexpensive than the gym prices.  Just do a little search for cours de fitness en Lyon and you'll get a listing.. it takes some picking through but there are good deals.


Just Eat Healthy
Staying in shape is difficult.. but it can be even worse when we give into our ultimate French cravings and scarf down the delicious cuisine.  More than 50% of being in shape comes from what we put into our mouths.. while that croissant is good on a Saturday, it's probably best to avoid having one every morning.  I gained the most weight when I ate croissants for breakfast and cheese with every meal... also... cut down the alcohol, this is a huge part... alcohol is heavy on calories and we often don't watch how much we are drinking.  One glass of wine a night is probably the most one should intake on a daily basis.


Good luck.. staying fit is important.. otherwise we return back home and all our families won't recognize us.


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Story Time: The Metro

I hate the Metro; more than anything I hate the lack of space on the things.

I went on a journey today for work, one that required I simply take the Métro from Bellecour to Grange-Blanche, only about a 15 minute ride.  From the beginning, it was ridiculously un-fun.  The pushing to get through the ticket checking machine, the 2 minutes we all wait to get on the metro.  The shoving to get onto the actual car.

The worst, in my opinion, is knowing what you are supposed to do for 15 minutes while you are chugging along.  If you are unlucky, the car is packed to the hilt and you're forced to wave around for a pole to balance yourself.  The luckiest you can get is to find a seat, but I am never so lucky.

I stared at my shoes for about 5 minutes, the slowest 5 minutes of my life.  I glanced up, flicking my eyes around the crowd never make eye contact I repeat in my head.  I focus on the sign above the old woman's head to my left.  Suddenly I notice the smell emiting from her is not the cookies and ice cream type of Grandma, but the drunk in the middle of the day type.  After I read the sign for about 3 minutes, or about 4 times, I return to my shoes.  I now notice that there is a Romanian guy playing the accordian and sending his 3 year old to look pitiful and beg for money.  I can't look at my shoes any more, because the kid is down there.  I quickly change my glance to outside the window- this only works for about 30 seconds until I start getting motion sick from looking outside at things passing.

Saxe-Gambetta.  I am counting in my head the stops, 3 more left.  I sigh and suddenly a group of ados get on the car and start playing their music out loud.  I sigh and turn my attentions to the old man sitting on a chair... a guy that just got on is noisily chewing on his white bread sandwich.  The girl on the other side is smart, she has a phone to play with, ear phones tucked into her ears.

1 stop left, I start becoming aware of the time passing, not a good thing... because when we are aware it is like watching a pot of hot water trying to boil- it goes so slow.  I stare at my shoes again, since the kid and father team got off and I try to focus on why there is mud on my shoe.

15 minutes later I shove off the metro and shove through the crowds, like sheeple, to exit.

Yes, I'm American.  I need a 2 foot radius to feel comfortable.

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Advice: How to Find Work

Alright, so I've decided to share a secret of mine that I've been holding in for awhile.  Now that I have a constant flow of customers and a paid internship on the side, I feel comfortable enough in sharing my little secret of how to find work in Lyon.

First off, understand that it will take work, patience and perseverence... it's not an easy job market in France or in Europe.  There is a crise d'économie everywhere you look and it can cause some potential problems for those of us who are needing to pay for ourselves while living abroad.  I'll break down the ideas according level of French and experience:

You Don't Speak Barely Any French
If you barely speak any French it might be beneficial for you to try working for companies that are in need of a Anglophone.  Baby Speaking is always hiring for baby sitters and teachers- but the problem remains that they are just expanding so you may not have a permanent pay check until after you leave.  On the side, you can post up some ads around your campus or around the internet (try LyonWeb or Vivastreet) explaining you are looking to baby sit.  Worse comes to worse, you could try to apply for cleaning positions that don't need you to speak.

You Can Get Through.. and you Know Some Future/Past Tenses
If you can hustle through French then you can try applying to some English speaking places... Vieux Lyon has some British Bars.  Drop by (before busy services) and drop off a resume with a letter of intent, prove you are an Anglophone and that you could be useful to the company.

You can speak, but Sometimes Get Confused
If you feel you are able to understand/speak at about a 75% fluency rate then you might be able to try applying to some bilingual companies (Wallstreet Institute, Berlitz) or even try your hand at applying for teaching english in a school.  The problem with teaching is that you need some level of experience (unless you tutor on the side), and patience.  Teaching is not for everyone, if you are bad at explaining or have difficulties understanding why our language is the way it is, try applying for something else.

You Are Fluent
Well, good for you, in that case you can pretty much apply to any position.  Know that there are many people fighting for the same position so outline your strengths due to living abroad.  If you are fluent in French you could try to work in a company that interests you- remember to understand that companys are rigid in hiring... they have taxes to pay for employees and contracts to obey.. this makes it difficult to get a contract, but worth it if you try.

Some Other Ideas
-American Places (My Best Bagels, Donut Times, Little Britain, Bars in Vieux Lyon)
-Restaurants with Tourists (Vieux Lyon)
-Hotels or Tourism Places
-Bilingual Assistant Positions
-Tutoring via Postings around Campus
-Baby Sitting
-MacDo (very common for Université students to work here)

Remember that it may take time to find a job but to research as much as possible to find something.. look on any website and think in French.  Often it's a simple word such as:  Baby Sitter to Garde d'Enfants that can give you a client or a person.. we forget that we are in France and many jobs are posted in French.  Some key words:  garde d'enfants, enseignement anglais, bilingue anglais, poste, traduction.

Good luck with the search.. something will pop out.  OH, and one last thing, don't be afraid to charge what you are worth for tutoring or baby-sitting.  I once turned down a job that offered 8 bucks an hour because it was for two children and it was a lot of hard work.  Simply say, merci, mais ce ne m'interesse pas.

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My Resolutions

Every year we all make those promises that often we never keep.  I am more of a 'multiple resolution' type person and tend to make very specific lists of goals for the upcoming year.  Some of them are so specific, but some are general.  It makes me feel good knowing a new year is here and everything starts fresh in 2011.

1. Lose the 10 lbs I probably gained during French Christmas
2. Start walking fast..
3. Start jogging..
4. Start running..
5. Try to do some yoga videos a few times a week
6. Learn a complicated French recipe
7. Invite a group of 5 to the apartment for dinner
8. Try to buy veggies at marché as much as possible..
9. Going with #8, try to get up at normal hours
10. Pay closer attention to my friends
11. Do a good job for my new job
12. Try to keep apartment in suitable condition for living
13. Go on a Beaujolais tour
14. Try to go for brisk evening walk after dinner with Brian each night
15. Get into a Master's program and get visa renewed
16. Take more pictures to share with family
17. Replace the toilet paper when it runs out- I never do.
18. Try to pay the basics and then.. pay off my credit cards
19. Learn a new dance
20. Get into one of those fancy French clubs
21. Plan something epic for our 2 year anniv'
22. Try some new French cheese
23. Totally shop at the marchés, veggie market, boucheries, boulangeries and fromageries... no more American shopping!
24. Call my brother back in the States at least 4-5 times a week
25. Study my French more often and make an effort to speak 'en Français' with Bri
26. Make more unique meals
27. Write all the books that I've been keeping in my head
28. Write more advice columns and get back on board with the daily bloggin'!

I'll stop at 28 to avoid a total explosion of resolutions.. I have such big plans for 2011, but the first priority is to finish 2010; Christmas is in a couple of days and I guarantee that it's gonna be a biggin' this year.

What are you resolving to do in 2011 in Lyon?

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Frustrations at the French System

I thought i was over the whole culture shock thing, i was feeling good with my frenchy french friends and my collection of european buddies. Everything felt right and in place- until i received the schedule for our exams. Right there in front of my face, on the friday I am leaving for a mini vacation to amsterdam: tests on Friday. See normally I'd plan ahead of all this, but, i don't have any classes on friday! No logic in this. Worse they didn't even tell me there would be these tests.

I immediately sent an email to the secretary and spoke with my professor. My professor informed me that, according to the 'method they follow' they can't give it earlier or later. Sorry. Has to be at that exact time. I asked then if "i missed the exams, what does that mean?" Considering that because of my above A grades, three missed tests would still equal passing.

Nope. More 'regulations and methods'. If i don't take the tests, my entire term will not be validated, meaning, all the tests, all the 1000 euro i spent will equal nothing.  All for regulations.

I looked at trying to change my flight, but it's a non changeable flight.  So my choice is:  miss a weekend to Amsterdam where I already paid for everything, and pass my class... or miss the class and potentially be forced to stay back once again in a below-my-level class.

And so, I've decided.. if they truly won't be lenient on me for this one time, I'm going to Amsterdam and I will have to take the DELF B2 in January separate from the CIEF, hopefully receiving 50/100 and receiving the diploma.  With this I can push up into a level C1; which is more difficult and a challenge.


My mother always said things happen for a reason, but for today I feel especially bitter towards the CIEF program and in general for the culture here.  Too many regulations, too many tests, too many papers.  It's a culture shock I may never get used to.

Now, I gotta go make a pizza.

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Sleep Deprivation & Excitement for.. Yellow Pages?

From Monday to now I have collectively stayed awake for about 50 hours- which puts me at an average of merely 6.5 hours of sleep a night.  I am normally a morning person, but, when I arrived in France Bri's schedule threw mine off in some odd 'jetlag horror' and now I'm more of a night person and less of a morning person.

I am also in the attempts to go on a diet in France which I can say is on my 'Top 5 List of Miserable Things to do in Life'.  I'm not doing it because I feel like I need to, I'm doing in my preparation for Christmas.  How does one do it?  Well, breakfast is an Activia yogurt and some 'Krisprolls' with jam.  Snack is a jelly sammich (on small bread).  Lunch is a little tomato/young greens salad, with maybe a soup.  Snack is some popcorn.  Dinner is only one serving, no 'entrance', no 'cheese' and if I do have dessert it's a little square of Milka.  It's absolute Hell.  If I were in America right now I'd be in the works to get my stretchy pants and know, by this time tomorrow, I'd be waddling home with a Turkey Coma.

You see, last Christmas, I came weighing about 129 lbs and left weighed about 145 lbs.  No exaggeration.  I gained 16 lbs in one month... it's not just the dinners- no- it's the fois gras, the stream of Champagne, the fatty rôtis, the delectable 'papiotte'.  Oh yes, I am in efforts to lose weight so that at least by January I will be equal to myself now.

I also have found myself with a stomach that isn't agreeing with all this French food- it's too heavy, the microbes are different and the meat is different.  I think that I've gotten so used to 'highly processed' American eats that I've lost the ability to digest real food.  I've even gone to buying and eating Activia.  You know, the yogurt that's for old ladies that might have 'digestive issues'...

I was excited yesterday, despite my sleep deprivation, to get my very own copy of the 'Pages Jaunes' or the 'Yellow Pages'.  I can't really define why it's exciting- but leafing through a giant book of businesses (many of which are not listed in Google) and scanning for Boulangeries that I haven't found, or that store that has expatriate items, it's a personal joy.  I was even thinking about it as I crossed the bridge to Bellecour (against traffic, apparently everyone comes when I leave).  Is that sad, or just one of those little pleasures that define us as 'unique'.

Speaking of Expatriate items, I found a shop while parading about drunk on Beaujolais last Friday.  It's called 'Little Britain' and it's in the 6ème, 12 Blvd des Brotteaux.  Not much on their website, but I plan to make a stop in there some day.. just for the Hell of it.  Bet I can find cheddar...

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Social Life and Pellegrino

The title may not make a ton of sense, but let me preface by saying:  Pellegrino only costs .80 centimes in France.  Yes, I know, it seems such a minscule thing to feel happy about, but when dealing with graph paper instead of lined paper, and bagging your own groceries- it's the little things that keep us sane in foreign countries.

Pellegrino is so fancy in the United States; we see in television shows the characters sipping out of glass bottles of the stuff- in America it's about 2 bucks a bottle; much more affordable for a little taste of minerals from Italy.

That being said.

Last night I tried Beajoulais Noveau for the first time;  our friend is a wine distributor for that region, and is also in the same relationship situation as us (American girlfriend, French boyfriend).  He invited us to a friend's apartment in the 6ème arrondissement in Lyon; AKA the LUXE area.  Rue de Sèze to be exact.  As I frantically biked down the Rue de Sèze, heart pounding and fear that a person would swerve in a drunken Beaujolais frenzy and kill me I begin realizing that I am really starting to get France.

She's a complicated country, there are things I will never understand... but now I'm getting to the point of responding automatically in French to locals talking to me...a very cool experience.

ONce we got there the spread was incredible;  I was too shy to start snapping pictures so I'll have to stick to details.  The apartment was about 130m2; which is about 1400ft.  Very big... twice the size of our place.  There were these artsy posters plastered on the wall, hardwood floors (another saving grace of France) and large windows overlooking the street.  The table was set up against the wall and covered with charcuteries, baguettes lined for the cutting, cheeses, more charcuterie... and lots of bottles of wine.

Aurelian, the wine distributor, started us off my detailing each of the wines, what region they come from how the stones used to filter change the flavor.  Uncorked, all at attention, we passed around a bottle and checked the clarity and flavor profile of each wine.  Starting from the 'youngest', fermented a mere 3 months to a couple of years. 3 bottles in total. By the end a few of the younger girls (19-21) were pretty fizzled and I was involved in a very deep conversation with a Brit expat and a French girl regarding our weird writing obsessions.  Brian was raiding the food table stuffing himself with ham products; and I somehow agreed to do English Yoga on Monday.

Today I wasn't hungover, which is a pretty amazing feat for how much I drank in alcohol... and I wandered around today with my Swedish friend, to the library to check out my monthly Anglophone book (which the library woman totally had a conversation with me and I was ABLE TO RESPOND!!) talking about girly things and eating chocolate éclairs.  I was craving a bagel or even a hot dog- but I found that while a hot dog costs 5€ in France, a chocolate filled éclair is only 2.50€; so I went for sweet.

So even though the graph paper is something that will never be normal for me- I find myself adjusting with a bottle of Perrier, a selection of very diverse friends, a bottle of wine and the company of chocolate éclairs.

P.S.  If you want to try a good snack:

Buy:  Pellegrino (.80 centimes) Krisprolls (1.50€) and some 'cream cheese' or fromage tartiner (1.20€)

WARNING:  This stuff is better than crack, or the equivalent which is 'Noah's Bagel Schmear' in the U.S.

 

 

 

Trust me.  Smear it on crackers, bread.. whatever.  It's amazing.. and cheap.

Happy weekend.. and try to drink some Nouveau.. or some Pellegrino.

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Culture Shock: Capitalism in France

Capitalism is such a complex thing- in America it's over run our streets with red-headed clowns screaming out for you to buy sugar laden food.  In America it's raided our radio stations with the same music.. because it's owned and bought by a huge investor of Universal Music and Timer Warner (which are actually owned by the same.)  In America, capitalism has flooded our television with images of a glorified Tea Party candidate who would actually end up destroying our freedoms and taking away our choices in a pseudo fascist regime.

Captalism is something I am really bothered by but yet feed into.  France has started to open her arms to allow it to roam in the streets... unfortunately.  What are the signs?

Super Markets:  From Carrefour to Marché U, this way of food shopping has only existed for the last 40 years.  In the 1950's when American housewives had fake plastered smiles and perfect hair, shopping in the frozen food aisles and kissing her husband good night with a brandy in the hand... France was still heading to their marchés, buying their daily bread and vegetables.  Making extravagent home-made meals from the things they bought from the marché.. that's why their food is so diverse; they didn't destroy gastronomy with frozen replacements.  If you ever want to learn about why our food in America is 50% on average.. look into these key words:  slotting fee, distributor handling.  They pretty much mark up a cheaper produce.. if there were marchés in America (not the Farmer's Market, which is just glorified and overpriced) then the produce would be cheaper.

Fast Food:  McDonalds, or 'MacDo' as we lovingly call it here.  They are really making a profit of the people of France, with the same sickeningly quality and ingredients as we all remember in 'Supersize Me',  but packaged much smaller so it's more 'European'... and worse, marked up about 50%.  In France, you can buy a tomato for .10, but a medium sized chicken nugget meal costs €6; or $8.20 for those who are counting.  To put it in perspective, this meal costs the same price as 3 crêpes in the street... or in America as an entree at a restaurant.

Clothes:  Abercrombie & Fitch recently made their move into France, July 2010.  Not sure how their controversial employment practices are fitting into the highly protected French employee... needless to say, a great market to 'mark up' the clothes and turn a profit... because in France, anything American is 'fancy'.

American Way:  Big cars, American music, MTV.. television shows.  This is such a big industry here, the voice-over actors for movies and television shows are popular and well known. It was strange to me when I was watching 'Le Grand Journal' and a voice actor was the guest.. I was confused and thought he was the actor- until I saw a familiar American actor and I realized... French voice over.

English:  Now it is becoming a universal language.  Everyone needs to speak it, and most everyone does.  Lucky for me, the French often have notorious accents- so I don't feel so 'American caught in public' when speaking.  It's still strange to speak a language EVERYONE speaks, but to be learning a language only a few speak... of course Italian would be more unique.


It's sad, much like how Julia Child described in her memoirs, to see a culture becoming uniformed and losing her beautiful identity.  The France we see in the films is the France from 1950's and 1960's.  Now it's slowly decaying into the culture we so often embrace in America.

I think I'll be the last generation to see France as a unique culture... which is why I write to remember.

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Story Time: Debate in French

Saturday night we were at the parent's house in Genas and family was invited to dinner.  The thing about family, in any country or language, is not everyone can agree at everything.  I realized this when I was asked, in a very accusatory manner,

"Pourquoi est-ce que Barack Obama a fait rien?  Il a crée tous ces éspoirs mais aucune chose a passé!!"

Like it's my fault the media plays against my President in France and it's not like I know him personally and we hang out or anything.  Basically he meant to say, why is it that your President was so worshipped by the world and now he's not curing cancer or turning water to wine?

I explained, nicely, that although it appears as though nothing as passed.. it's because the news in France tends to be a bit ethnocentric with what they show.. mostly French news- or an interpretation of American news.  Same thing we do back home.

The hype that surrounded my president during 2008 came from the fact he was fresh breath of air from the previous 8 years.  Europe loved Obama.. they idealized him.  French people would never wear their own flag, but people were smocked in the street with Obama T-Shirts, smiling and waving their Ameriphile-ness.  New York suddenly became fancy again and the hatred that used to surround Americans dissipated and we became the golden children.

Except now, due to this phenomena, it's every American expatriate's duty to keep up on current affairs in order to be able to detail exactly what the president has done. 

I explained the heath bill getting passed, the fact that the Government retook the loans so they could control the amounts, the movement of Iraq troops back into Afghanistan.  I kindly noted that my president is my president, not the French president.  He's not meant to change the world for Christ's sake, only ameliorate my own country (which was so utterly failing after George Bush).

I have a simple advice to Americans in France or ANYWHERE in Europe:  Know the current events in America and in Europe.

The awful stereotype (which tends to be true in general) is that Americans are the dumbest most ill-informed and ethnocentric group of citizens on the planet.  The French love to mock and tease, saying that we only know the "Eiffel Tower" and the "TGV".  We stick to our guns while stuffing our face with burgers and bad beer- but while that is true of many places, it's even more important for those of us who are expatriates to represent our country.  We're not just here to escape, because you'll never escape and be 100% European- it's impossible- but we are here as representatives.

So, as I learned on Saturday, even though I'm not a personal 'fan' of my country I make an effort to stick up for her- because I'll tell you what... you mess with MY mama, and you're messin' with me.

Some good debating terms:

N'importe quoi:  It means, whatever, or 'are you kidding?'
T'es têtu:  You're stubborn!
Je suis pas d'accord:  I'm not in agreement
Ethnocentique:  Means egotistic about your own country
La Droite:  the right, like republicans
La Gauche:  The left, democrats
L'êxtreme droite, 'tea party':  The tea party candidates, which all French people have a good laugh
T'es grave or c'est grave:  the first means, 'you're really lost and I can't save you, too sad (not emotionally, sarcastically), and the second, 'it's too bad'.

I'd read the news in English and write down some words, use a dictionary, find the equivalent.  It's better to look smart.. plus it feels SO GOOD when the person you are debating with, in French, concedes.

Bon chance, bon courage,

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