It wouldn't be fore another year, when I finally moved to France that I would realize my mistake. Bri's grandmother was over for dinner and we were snacking on some dinner when I notived Joce motioning to Madame Corrieri and saying, voulez-vous un autre tranche du boeuf? I stared for a moment and it sunk in. Aghast I leaned over to Bri and said, omg. Am I supposed to be using VOUS with your parents?? Like since the beginning?? He looked at me and nodded, like, DUH. I was aghast. I didn't know how to discuss this with his parents and be like, so can we go back to the vous or is it too late?
Luckily, I have understanding French parents, and when I finally had enough French to be able to make conversation on my own I posed the question. C'est ok si j'avais toujours appelé toi un TU, pourrais-je changer? She laughed and said, c'est pas nécessaire. I nodded.
Thus I embarked on the horrible journey of deciding when to use the Tu and when to use the Vous. I've sort of broken down some social rules:
When to use the TU
- With other students that are in your class.
- With close friends or people that are your age.
- Anyone who is younger than you.
- When someone has requested it, a true French social thing: Tu peux m'appelle TU.
When to use the VOUS
- Professors or bosses
- Collegues at work
- Anyone who is older than you, like at least by a generation
- Anyone you meet in a store, ANYONE
- Parents/grandparents of your French boyfriend
- Addressing a group of people
It can be incredibly annoying, as all those verb forms change and if you make the social mistake of calling someone a VOUS when they are clearly a TU (you risk looking too formal) and vice versa. Just don't call your boyfriend's parents tu. That is bad and it's an irreversable mistake.
a+
It's not *always* a bad thing to tu your inlaws - I think a lot of it depends on the family and/or the region. With my ex in Bretagne, the first time I met his parents, I vous'ed them and they just about fell over laughing. The only people I really vous'ed there were strangers, higher-ups and sometimes the elderly depending on who it was.
ReplyDeleteBut yet with my current bf's parents, I have to vous them because in their region, you vous your in-laws (and also because they are a little bourgeois). It's actually really hard for me to do since I'm not used to it and they are really down-to-earth and nice!
And just an FYI, when you're asking or telling someone which one you/they should use, there is an actual verb for it (only in France, right??). Ex: "On peut se tutoyer" (or vouvoyer) instead of "tu peux m'appeler tu".